Looking at an old hobby in a new light.

For as long as I can remember, knitting has been in my life. Both my mom and my aunt fantastic artists with yarn. There isn't a pattern that Amala see's that she can't decipher and recreate. Pattern, schmattern, who needs it! I remember her and Aunty Yangzom-la sitting together, laughing, chatting and knitting in the morning light as they asked me to run downstairs for tea or coffee on a chilly morning. I loved sitting at their feet, normally with a book, taking part in the conversation at will, feeling the joy, the warmth, the creativity envelop me.

I have loved the clicking of the sound of needles, the excitement of making a choice - pattern, colour, design - the feeling of smooth, new yarn between my fingers and imagining the end product so finally at about age 5, I begged to be taught how to knit. And she taught me. She cast on my stitches and I knitted and purled my little heart out. How grown up I felt! When I hit a snag, she unsnagged it, when I dropped a stitch, she picked it up but I just didn't have the persistance to stay with it. Being the dabbler that I am, I now recognize in retrospect that a scarf was the wrong project for me to start with - long, straight and going on forever. After a pathetic attempt at a sweater for SUPW in high school that I never wore and a mis-shapen sweater for baby when I was pregnant 2 years ago (seriously, what was I expecting? I faked it without a pattern!), I gave up my needles. Until this last weekend.

It all started with a “Knitting in the Round” class at the Purple Purl that I did last Sunday morning. (Excellent btw, I highly recommend their classes - free coffee too!) I picked this nice pumpkin colour, machine washable (hello, I'm a mom remember? The days of having the time to handwash is a distant memory.) Mission Falls Merino yarn for little R's hat and some bamboo needles - having always used metal needles in the past, I was hesitant but now, I’m a total convert! The control is so much greater. (Thanks Miko for the excellent guidance!) Happily, the class provided a pattern for a hat. Rosa was our wonderful instructor - clear, patient and calm - who lead us through knitting on 4 needles. The class just flew by as fun times often do and I couldn’t stop knitting! By nightfall, I was half-way through with the hat and the interesting part was coming up (the decreases) when I realized, horror of horrors, I was actually out of yarn and the Purple Purl was closed on Monday!!! Argh! Why hadn’t I bought more yarn? What was I thinking - or in this case, not thinking? What would I do with myself for a full day without yarn! Somehow I talked myself off the ledge and sanity prevailed :) I was done by Tuesday evening with the knitting and last night I finished my first hat ever. Today, my son is rocking his new toque.

Now, for a scarf to match! This project has been a little plagued with doubt. The scarf this time is a short one that buttons together instead of wrapping around, which means two things:

1. I will have less worries about strangulation - don't ask.
2. This greatly increases the chance that this project will actually get completed! Quick is a good thing when it comes to projects.

The merino yarn (once again, machine washable - please and thank you) is this gorgeous confection that reminds me of fall. It has all the colours - orange, green, brown and …. pink! Is that too girly for a little boy? After a lot of thought, I have since decided that MY boy will be in touch with his feminine side and will rock the pink! After all, with our dreary Canadian winters, we will be crying out for a shot of colour by January.
Since my size 7 circs are not here yet (bought a lot of needles off of Ebay for a song!), I tried using my size 8 dbl. pts. and it’s going fine but now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s my tension or the needles or simply the weight of the yarn that is causing the fabric to be nicely maleable but a little on the thin side. Since this scarf goes around the neck only once, I do want a bit of heft to it but not so much that it’s uncomfortable.
Then there is the fact that I changed it up. Instead of following the pattern, I kept the spirit of the scarf (size and design) but changed the pattern to a seed stitch because it took me forever to do two rows of the the pattern (I’m so not used to YO and k2 tog line after line) and the recipient kinda needs the scarf yesterday - now I’m beginning to wonder if that is contributing to the lack of heft.
Oh and did I mention that I kept the width of the scarf the same as the pattern? What possessed me? Well, I cast the stitches, knit two lines thought that it looked about right. Now I’ve knit about 4 inches and yeah, bad move. I will scale back from 30 stitches to about 22.
Which means, I need to rip out what I’ve done,

Which means I may as well borrow those size 7’s from my knitty friend KR,

Which means, I may as well try and stick to the pattern!! HA!

But I shall prevail. Hello knitting needles, I'm back.

The beat goes on

This is a post that I found in draft form (one of a few that never made it) - It is a good reminder to myself to just post, no matter how short, even a thought because otherwise I risk forgetting all the little things that enthralled me about my baby growing up.

9/24/2010
"Things have been busy in the Tsampa household. As you all know, litte r started walking and now, he's walking all over the place and getting into e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Pots and pans don't stand a chance. Clash! Bang! Clothes are out of the laundry basket and strewn higgeldy-piggeldy everwhere. Books, ditto. He is can get up the stairs on his hands and knees but we've been discouraging him coming down on his own.

Litte r is in the cutest stage ever (I know I say this about every stage!). About 3 weeks ago, I woke up to some loud breathing and then realized this breathing had.... a tune! He was humming to himself! It was so adorable. Now he's full out ..."

Little r's making a transition

Little r,

Today is your first day of transitioning into the Toddler Room! I am so proud of you. It seems like just yesterday when we took you to the infant room for the first time, full of trepidation, wondering how you would do. You are now growing and thriving. You even go potty every morning now and we wave the poo-poo goodbye as we flush. (Well, I wave and you watch me like I'm nuts.)

You are my light. My joy. My heart.
I can't wait to see what you do next.

xoxo
Amala.

This weekend, I Skyped with my family back home for the first time. It was amazing to see everyone and to talk to them. Pala has completely grey hair now... he did tell me that he was going to stop colouring his hair after Ola got married but the impact of this didn't hit me till I saw him. Ola had warned me that this had happened but seeing it was.... well, a punch to the gut. You have to understand Pala has been colouring his hair for what feels like ever. He started prematurely greying in his thirties. This just reminds me that we are creatures with limited lifespans and we must make the most of what time we have. That said, I do realize that no matter how vital or young one looks, one could go at any time. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and go before my dad, who don't get me wrong, looks fantastic. I am always surprised by how surprised I am when I am confronted by mortality. Little r was asleep and he didn't get to interact with the grandparents but they were really thrilled when I took the laptop to the room and showed them little r fast asleep. They couldn't get over how tall he's gotten! I can't believe it took me this long to do this. I will make a weekly Skype date with them and try to melt the miles (and miles) between us.

Little miracles

This year the Tsampa family decided to skip out of town for summerbreak and head to the mid-west. The compromise was that this summer, we would go to attend Tsampapapa's friend's wedding and then next Spring, we would go to Jhola Kep and Kana's wedding. One for him, one for her - peace reigns supreme in the household just the way we like it. Then we found out serendipitiously, we will be missing the G-8/G-20 summit happening in our fair city. What luck! What am I tired of? How about a multi-billion dollar security plan, a "water-feature" that costs over $57,000, security measure practice runs that clog up traffic, shall I go on? Why don't I just not.... anyway, I'm just glad to have this time to be with family and r-e-l-a-x. I am bummed to miss yet another family reunion that my mother's side has every summer but I figure I will see everyone next Spring.

So, here we are - we flew out of Buffalo Intl. into Chicago yesterday. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by Chicago. When I would think of Chicago in the past, I thought of a grey city with grey buildings, grey weather and the mob in the old days. What I have seen is a beautiful city with great outdoor public spaces, well planned roads, a fabulous waterfront, endless opportunities for culture - museums, planetariums, aquarium, festivals - check, check, check and check, a passionate home crowd for their many sports teams, I could just go on. I have yet to explore the shopping though we did drive down Michigan Avenue with many designer stores where I am convinced they would charge to breathe. If Rigden had been older and able to stay home with a movie or better yet, able to accompany us, I would love to check out the blues and jazz scene. I have to say, I *heart* Chicago! I just wish we had more days to check out this fair city. I guess we'll just have to make it back for another trip. Maybe I can then visit the shrine of the Mighty Opes - Harpo Studios or is that Harpo City? Next up, cottage country Minnesota style followed by a few days in Minneapolis. Woo Hoo!

In other news, guess who decided to start walking two days before we hit the road? That's right, WALKING! Little r decided one fine day that he had just about had it with crawling and it wasn't cutting it so he did the "little frankenstien" over to me - you know how it goes, arms straight out, balance slightly off, coming straight at you - so CUTE! It's amazing how much better he's already gotten at walking. He's already steadier and favours walking over crawling. He's fallen down so many times and even cut his knee in his endeavours but he keep charging forward. My little conquering hero - defying gravity every day. More little miracles to come - Happy Fathers day to Tsampapapa!

On friends

As those of you following my blog know, one of my resolutions for happiness has been to make more of an effort to keep in touch with friends - something that I found less and less time to do since having baby and if I am honest, since being in a committed relationship. Two people just have more to do than one person does. Add to that the complexity of organizing two lives (and now plus one more) and anything that isn't a burning priority tends to fall to the wayside. I decided that making time to nurture these valuable relationships was very important for my happiness and well-being as they also define a part of who I am. I am more than a wife and a mother. I am also a daughter, a friend, a sister to many. So, that's how our monthly Sunday Afternoon Teas were born.

After many days of anticipation, Sunday finally arrived. It was grey, soggy and slightly chilly -in other words, perfect for an indoor afternoon tea. I wasn't kidding when I said I was excited. Last weekend, the Leslieville Stomp, a fantastic annual event in my neighbourhood consisting on multiple street sales and store sales, took place and one of the highlights for me was the set sale for Anna Olson's "Fresh" TV show. While I couldn't purchase the platters, bowls, plates, etc. (they just don't go with my other crockery - though how I resisted, I still don't know!), I did get a killer deal on some hot pink napkins, some white napkins, some pillar candle holders, a sugar pot and a hurricane - total damage: $6.35! I purchased a brand new, white double sheet, a creamer and a sugar pot from my local Value Village. I also splurged (though if they were under $15, does it still count as a TOTAL splurge?) on some beautiful aqua placemats with a sort of white trellis-like pattern. Happily, the peonies decided to bloom this very weekend so flowers - check! 3 blooms graced our table in my new-to-me creamer.

Friday night, the Christmas-y decorations (stop laughing... seriously!) finally went into the basement. Instead the hurricane is now on one side of our mantlepiece - filled a third of the way with white sand and sea shells laid on top - flanked to one side with a white taper in a crystal candlestick for some sparkle. On the other side, two pillar candles on the new stands with another crystal candle stick. This looks so much better than the out of season stuff but it still feels like it needs more. Most likely, this is due to the scale of the mirror attached to the top of the fireplace that T will not allow me to remove. It reflects a lot of light and does make the space seem more spacious but it's just so 80's without the frame and just way too huge for where it is!

On Saturday night, I baked some cranberry scones. The next afternoon, I laid out the table and decided to use the good stuff - nice china cups and plates, even a charger. Lemon was sliced, Earl Grey tea was set out in my new-to-me sugar pot from V-Squared and honey to accompany it. I laid out fig preserves, red pepper jelly with mango (graciously given to me by my uber-creative friend Andrea) and sweet butter cubes to complement the scones. And what is afternoon tea without tea sandwiches? We had cucumber cream cheese and salami pesto.

Karma couldn't make it due to a last minute trip to New York City but Dolma and Tendon were right on time and came bearing goodies for little r (a sweet little toy tree frog) and for us. A pair of delicious spinach pies were popped into the oven to heat and the most decadent Chai flavoured ice-cream (how perfect was that for a tea party) was put into the freezer to be enjoyed with the movie they brought.

After a leisurely tea followed by a short stint on the deck (the sun peeked out at this point and it was perfect - cool but sunny), we spooned our ice-cream into little bowls and headed to the family room to watch "The September Issue", a documentary about Vogue's September Issue but really it was all about Anna Wintour. Talk about an alternate reality!

A wonderful afternoon was capped up by and interesting discussion of our jobs. It's amazing to me that all my friends from the old days who are in Toronto have one way or the other found their way into the not-for-profit sector. Great minds think alike, I suppose. It occurs to me that I have known these women from the time we were all in diapers, literally. Dolma is a week younger than I am and Tendon a year. We are relatives (I was going to say cousins but that whole twice-removed vs. third-cousins thing always stumps me). Karma and I have known each other since we both showed up in 1983 to grade 1B. I cannot imagine a childhood where I didn't know them. We drifted apart as we grew up but came together again and it was as if no time had passed at all. We are all independent women with a point of view and not afraid to voice them. We all have our own lives but there for each other. Dolma has been to the Phillipines and India to do development work, Tendon has been the editor-in-chief of a youth magazine in Nepal and Karma has managed an entire carpet factory before becoming a pretty darn indespensible part of her organization. And this just their professional lives. In addition to all of this, they are good, kind, compassionate, warm, funny women and I am so privledged to call these amazing women friends.

C is for... CAKE apparently

After a long hiatus brought on by just not having an iota of energy left to blog (little r has been ill.... again. sigh!), I return to the blogosphere with renewed commitment. While I will spare you the details of what was wrong and what pursued (ear infection double-whammy, numerous trips to the doctor + ENT specialist), I will say that little r has been a trouper and is now back to his happy, cheerful, funny little self and we have a couple of milestones to celebtrate. The first as mentioned in the title is the learning of a new word (though to be fair, he seems to remember and forget this one at will) - CAKE. I love that his C word is cake. It just seems right that this child of mine should embrace cake early in life :)
Next milestone: just this last Saturday, little r (wait for it....) walked his first steps! Hurrah! Maybe this means dirty knees and endless worrying about him sticking dirty hands into his mouth are at an end... then again, maybe not. Maybe the dirty knees and clothes and hands are just the modus operandi of a little boy.
Last week was bumper week in much-needed me-time for mama. After over 2 years (yes, you read correctly) of having it in my hot little hands, I finally used the gift certificate to Stillwater spa. This was the exact antidote to my recent spate of stressful days. A massage, a leisurely dip in the jacuzzi, detoxing in the steamroom, a cup of Earl Grey and biscotti and a time to actually peruse a magazine at leisure. Ahhhh! I need to make a habit of this for sure! Then on Friday evening, a few friends met for some drinks and nibblies after which two out of four of us went to watch Sex and the City 2. Now while the movie wasn't exactly life-altering, it was such fun! Like meeting old friends but with way cooler shoes than your own... and way richer - I mean, who can afford to have an apartment in Manhattan sit empty for days when you need an escape? But I digress. Reality is not an option when you sit down with Carrie and the girls. More than the clothes or shoes in this movie, I was salivating over the interiors that they showed! The richness, colours and sheer over the top opulence of the interiors were fantastic.
Okay, I admit it. I do have home decor on the mind. It all started in February when I sent T a link to this amazing and cheap facelift of a fireplace that I found on the blog, the Lettered Cottage. Hmm... he said, let's see. I have also been hankering after a new coat of paint in the living/dining area and kitchen. The colour of choice, a nice grey. Amazingly, T seemed open to the idea. So maybe, just maybe, this might actually happen! Plus, now, I'm obsessed with roman blinds and want to do two for the living/dining and one for the bathroom. And the blogosphere is not helping! So many inspiring ladies with amazing projects that they pulled off for what seems like pennies. Must - give - home - facelift - NOW! More to come on this.
I have also been thinking about the afternoon tea that I posted about a little while ago. It's this Sunday! The options are endless but I think I am going to settle on something savoury and something sweet and leave the other options for future tea parties. I am an endless planner and ditherer when it comes to menus. I love it. It's half the fun if you ask me! My issue is what was neatly termed by a colleague of mine as "analysis paralysis", something I suffer from in other facets of my life as well. I like perusing all the options and knowing as much as possible before making a decision. This makes T crazy, especially in restaurants when I spend forever mulling over the menu :) For this weekend's party, I am trying not to go overboard. I want to do scones because they are so traditional to a tea party but I am also tempted to do carrot cake. Then for the savoury, it's between these two tea sandwiches: salami with herbed mayo (zingy) or cucumber with cream cheese (traditional). Also, something else that I tried on little r and is quite delicious is cream cheese and sliced strawberry sandwiches! They are good... trust. Any thoughts? Help me decide!

It never ceases to amaze me how children learn, develop and grow and the rate at which they do all of the above. Little r has just learnt a few new words: Apple + Book. Mama is convinced he is working his way through the alphabet. He was saying "apple" a few weeks ago but one morning, he just woke up and started crawling towards his books saying" book" - just like that, out of nowhere. It's like the word fairy blessed him while he was sleeping. I love that "book" is one of his first words given how precious they are to me. He seems to know what it means too though I think he thinks "apple" is just any fruit. Also, the way he says apple is too cute - it sounds like "aeh- poh" which sounds in turn like a tibetan pola (old man) saying it. He has also learnt "homa" which means milk (but sounds like "ama" when he says it), "mum-mum" for food and "nya-nya" which means sleep. That covers all the essentials I think. Food, drink, entertainment and sleep - check. He's set for life.

I was just thinking this weekend of some other things that make me happy. First on that list, quick wins. Things that you can get done quickly, easily and feel good about having accomplished something. Example: This week I went to Dollarama, our local dollar superstore, (shopping spree came to $16. Sweet! Something else that makes me happy. Also on the shopping spree the cutest mock-crocs in the happiest red for little r) and picked up two pieces of 3-D foam art at $1.50 each. What's that you ask? Foam art is basically a picture on a cardboard that you stick foam sticker shapes on according to instructions and at the end of it, you have a 3D (not in the James Cameron "Avataar" way but in the layered sticker sort of way) piece of art. A kind of stick-by-numbers. Along with that, I also purchased two white frames for $1.50 each. By the end of that night, I had made 2 piece of art, all framed and ready for display. Quick Win. Happy. Love it!

I had noted on my list that family traditions make me happy. Actually, any personal traditions make me happy and on that note, a few friends and I are working on a new tradition. Monthly tea parties! My friends DT& LT came over on Sunday. I got to cook for them (first time making lo-mein and sweet corn soup to accompany it) and watch them enjoy it. Then later on, we went for a long walk in Leslieville, ducking into shops, browsing, laughing at somethings, marvelling at others and convincing each other about the absolute need to buy some of the things. (LT, if you are reading this, I need to see you in that dress, my friend!) On the way, we picked up some goodies (cupcakes from Sweet Bliss and vegan carrot cake from Pulp Kitchen) and headed back to my place to have them as the cafes were closing early on Sunday. Inspired, we brought out the good stuff - china quarter plates for our baked treats, china cups and saucers for our tea and all of it served at the dining table. The treats were yummy, the tea delicious and we felt fresh and rejuvinated as we enjoyed it all. Tea tasted all the better for being shared and being shared in nice china at that. The only thing missing were savoury tea sandwiches and some fresh cut flowers! This is when T had the brilliant idea of making this a monthly tradition. Yes! We decided to do this once a month, on a sunday afternoon (chores would be done and we would have the mornings to sleep in, prepare, etc.), potluck it (thereby taking the pressure off) and keeping it really small (3 of us plus one additional friend KS who also has a bebe) so it would be easier to coordinate. Now let's see if this keeps up. I have already sent out the invite and am dreaming of goodies that I can bake for the next party!

The other tradition that T + I decided to start last year was Thanksgiving dinner at our house with friends with babies in and around little r's age. This way, we figured little r would have a set of little ones to grow up with together and memories would be created of these Thanksgivings. I dream of the time when one of these kids would say to the others, "So, I'll see you at r's place. We always go there for Thanksgiving."

We also want to create a tradition of taking a week each year to go away to a cottage on a lake somewhere and expose little r to that most Canadian of Canadian traditions, the cottage life and the outdoors. I'm just imagining this and loving it already.

What are your favourite traditions?

An ode to Lands End Canvas

I love Canada - there's no two ways about it. I lurve CANADA. This is a country that has adopted me, supported me, allowed me to have a voice (I cast my first vote ever on November 13, 2006 and it was a big day for me) and is generally a great country to call home. What I do HATE about living here however is the ridiculous banking fees (we pay to have them borrow our money and get rich? WTF??), the lack of online shopping and the lousy customer service - this is ofcourse as someone who lived in the US for a few years and was spoiled by the availability of these things. Oh Canada!

I have now found a way around atleast the last two things. Folks, I now have new favourite online store - Lands End Canvas (http://canvas.landsend.com/). The style is J.Crew'ish but their prices are more reasonable. It's a cooler Gap, it's a younger Banana Republic. Their clothes are comfortable and elegant and don't make me feel like a pre-teen poser. They ship to Canada at a reasonable rate, often offer free shipping, we can make returns at our local Sears store that have a Lands End shop and their customer service is unbelievable. Case in point - I purchased one shirt from them - a $22.99 purchase. Imagine my surprise when I receive a card - people, it was hand written! - in the mail saying Thank You, guaranteeing my purchase. I'm sold. Here're a few selections that I heart.

See why I love them? I guess how could you not. sigh! Lands End Canvas, you had me at Thank You.

Who do you love? Let me hear it!

On Happiness

Of late, I've been thinking a lot about happiness - about how to be happier and how to make those around me and those I love more happy. And then this morning, I opened up my inbox to find a forward by Uncle KN which pretty much sums it up. Here's an excerpt:

"Happiness does not come through destiny, one has to work for it. If you give goodness, you get back goodness. One should take care of Thoughts as they make the word. Take care of words as they result in Action. Be careful about actions as they become Habits. Habits build up your Character. That determines your Destiny and hence your Life." H.H. 14th Dalai Lama

I find that I am more impatient, more critical both of myself and others - and ironically more defensive, more stressed, more attached than I want to be or would like to think I am. I don't see people I care about as often as I'd like. I don't keep in touch with friends and family by phone or email as much as I'd like. I don't even sing as much as I used to. Yikes! Time for a change.

As I see it in my anal rententive mind, there are four steps to rectifying a problem:

1. recognition
2. acceptance
3. solutions
4. maintaining the changes

Two down - two to go.

I also started to think about what makes me happy. Here're a few:

• Tea in bed
• Warm pajamas from the dryer
• Curling up with a good book and a cup of tea on a cold, wet day (what is it about those days that beg for a good book?)
• After a long winter, stepping out of the house without a down jacket, hat, gloves & scarf for the first time
• Fresh flowers - orange tulips if I were being fussy
• A good chocolate cake and cold milk
• A good laugh over the past with friends/family
• Watching people enjoy something I made/did for them - food, crafts, birthday cakes etc.
• Family traditions
• Starting and finishing a project (it's the middle part that's hard)
• Singing with a group and playing guitar to some nostalgic, half-remembered song
• Not having to be the responsible/sensible one
• Little r

What makes you happy?

Daycares = germ pits?

These last few days have been hell. Little r finished on Monday the Amoxicillin course that he was prescribed and was recovering nicely when BAM!! out of no where we get side-swiped by round 2. Tuesday morning I notice that he has some sort of rash on his face and his We get a call from the daycare saying that he has a fever and that we should get him asap. Tuesday passes as we worry - the nights are the worst. Little r wants only his mummy and Daddy has to be just happy to pace and worry while not being allowed to even soothe baby. Wednesday we have to schedule an emergency trip to the hospital. The verdict is he has a delayed reaction to penicillin. Plus, he may have an ear infection. Follow up in two days. Great - he does have a reaction to penicillin, now he may also have a throat infection. Jeez!
Monday, we have to go back for yet another follow up visit. Little r has now been fever free for 3 days. Maybe he'll get a clean bill of health? Fingers crossed. In the meanwhile, the search for a nanny has begun. My boy is not suited for daycare it seems.... sigh!

Random photos on a Monday afternoon

Here's the book that I am reading today

while eating this lunch

in this park

thinking about my boys

How lucky am I?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Little r is still adjusting to day care and we are all adjusting to life without grandma to fill in the gaps. The days are going by in a flurry of activity followed by an exhausted crash into bed in the evenings. There is never enough time for everything that needs to be done! This morning, little r howled bloody murder from the outside door of daycare till I left the room - the difference between last week and this:

• He gets that when we enter day care, he is staying behind
• No tears - this time he howled in annoyance not heartbreak or fear. After I dropped him off, I doubled back to check on him and there he was, happy as a clam, eating his apple sauce with the other kids. Sweet!

He is now wearing the hell out of his new clothes (his clothes are always new - he grows out of them too fast for them to wear out) as in he looks so damn cute in them. I will post some new picks soon but here's one of him in his Cookie Monster shirt. I know, so cute.. sigh! When he's not sick, clingy and tired, he is my happy, sweet and mischeivious boy. This picture captures that side of him and that's why I love it.


Turns out the reason poor little r had been so unhappy of late was that he had an ear infection. Something we found out when we went to emergency at SickKids hospital last Friday night. The doctor and nurse were so great there. They were quick and thorough and we didn't have to wait. Little r had to have an x-ray done and was so freaked out by the way he was Hannibal Lecter-ed into that plastic case - do you know what they do to keep kids still for x-rays? No? Well, I finally found a picture on the web so here it is. Not pretty. Rigden just about blew a gasket when he realized he had to be in it. Hopefully, we never have to see the damn thing again.

The verdict- anti-biotics. After some debate over whether drugs should be administered, sanity prevailed and he is now halfway through his course. Because we aren't giving him any added sugar to anything and his medication tastes like bubble gum, little r actually likes his medicine and I like that he is feeling better. So it's a win-win in my book!



In other changes, on Monday this week, I got a haircut. Nothing drastic, just about 4 - 6 inches of length gone. I now have a medium length, layered cut thanks to my new mane man (pun intended) JT.

JT is newly arrived from Korea and has been in Toronto just about a year. His english is fairly rudimentary but let me tell you, his way with hair is not. On being asked not to "thin" my hair out with thinning scissors (I hate the way it grows out - all puffy, weird and shaggy), JT instead suggested cutting some hair in the middle band (stay with me on this) at the root - just strategically and just enough to de-pouf hair. Trust me, he said, I am a professional. He may need some help with his english but he had that line down.

Quaking in my seat with visions of patchy hair running amok through my head, I took a deep breath and told him to go ahead. With his super sharp scissors, he took to my hair, cutting here and there. Sometimes I'd see a long strand fly and it took everything in me not to yelp "Stop". Still, there was something in his confidence (he showed me semi-nunchuck/gunslinger moves with his scissors! Oh, and the look he gave me when I said I was nervous? It spoke volumes in every language out there.) and the care he took in the details that made me stick it out and... voila! I love my new cut. No, I don't think you understand, I LOVE my new cut. It has put a new spring in my step, makes me want to dress more professionally, makes me feel like a grown up. It says, "Hi, I am a pulled together, grown-up woman who has her stuff figured out". JT's haircut did for me mentally, what her new haircut in the Thomas Crown Affair did for Rene Russo's career (momentarily anyway). So JT, thank you. YOU ROCK!

While we are also on the subject of external changes, let me also talk about this amusing little tidbit. People who know me know that I am a paint-my-nails-and-toes-nothing-other-than-a-nude-shade kind a girl. This Spring, I put that to rest. My toes have now seen Essie's Tart Deco (a pinky coral) and Sally Hansen's Insta-dri in Cinna-snap (deepest red). T of course is oblivious to this (he didn't even notice the haircut!!) but of all people, little r is just fascinated by my brightly coloured toes. He keeps wanting to play with them and, as with everything that he is intrigued by, wanting to put them in his mouth! This is something else that I found has such an effect on how I feel. Amazing how such a little change that most people can't even see (I still wear close-toed shoes most days) gives you a change in attitude!

In books, I'm on a french kick (those who know me, know that I often go on kicks): French Taste by Laura Calder (a cookbook), Women, Work and the Art of Savoir Faire: Business Sense and Sensibility by Mireille Guiliano, and a few more books on hold in the library. Some books on style, some books on organization and a book on housekeeping/cleaning (yes,really.). Also, I finally bit the bullet and have ordered a few books I've been thinking about: The Happiness Project and The boss of me. My wish list on Amazon continues to grow, rivalled only by my wishlist on Etsy. And to think, I'm Buddhist!

This, that and the other

I was so excited when my Cynthia Rowley patterns finally arrived. Remember those? I bought fabric and had all these visions of myself wearing a simple cotton dress with a boyfriend blazer/motorcycle jacket and these oxfords this spring What I failed to do was factor in that:
a) I might have a very limited budget due to daycare expenses and
b)my sewing skills are fairly rudimentary and the dress that I imagined in my head vs. the dress that I sewed might look pretty different.

Cut to a few weeks later, I managed to eke out a few hours a couple of minutes at a time to make my first dress (the last pattern in my post) and.... it was way too big. I measured myself realistically (no sucking in the gut and calculating my waist to be what I would like it to be, etc.) and accordingly made the dress. Yep, I floated in it. Then I thought, no biggie, I'll just take it in from the side. Not so fast sister - the bust was all floppy and puffy and weird because there is some gathering at the neckline - damn! Must adjust. Still I'm not losing hope. Next time, I know to look at the finished garment measurements and test to see what that might feel like before i start. Next up, another dress in the first CynthiaR pattern on my post, this time in this gorgeous blue crepe that was a steal at Fabricland.

I guess if I were to look at the silver lining on the cloud, it would be that I am not as big as I thought I was!

On that note, holy ass-growth Batman! I have gained 10 lbs since starting work. Note to self: Without little r to heft up and down the stair 10 times a day, no 1 hr. walks, no breast-feeding during the day and sitting for most of 8 hrs a day at work, I can't eat like I was during pregnancy or mat leave. Actually, I eat worse at work than I do when I am at home. So once the MIL leaves, I am going to go back to eating more sensibly both at home and at work. This means salads for lunch. This means cutting back on sweet stuff. Jeez, I guess I better find some recipes that are at least interesting if not exciting for this to last. Without time to work out regularly, diet is all I can do. The only other thing I can think of is to get a treadmill at home and get T to do baby-duty while I work out for a bit. T would most likely be up for it. hmmm.... decisions, decisions. Can I commit to working out often enough so that the treadmill doesn't become the world's most expensive coat rack, taunting me with it's presence? More to come on this.

More project ideas that I have come across: a mei-tai for me to carry little r around in, a travel sack for his stroller (my innovative friend Kimiko fashioned a wonderful travel sack for her little bean and it looks totally do-able), some more play pants for little r, some more dresses for me - this is going to be the summer of the dress and comfy shoes for me.

I must share that while little r was laid up and I was hanging out with him while he was sleeping, I finally watched Julie & Julia and I really liked it! So much so that it has inspired me to start looking at more French recipes - the key word here is looking. If I actually started cooking, then that would really prove a huge hurdle to the afore-mentioned ass-growth dilemma. What's a girl to do?

baby + first time at day care = colds + clingy kid + exhausted mama

I KNEW IT - I thought it the minute I walked in and I was right. Litte r is sick with a cold and cough. So, sweet Sabine and cute Keiran thank you for sharing your germs with r. This as I understand will be a recurring theme over the next 6 months to year. Sigh! Can't wait.

After a not so great Day 2 - a whiny 4 hours at daycare ending with r howling in his stroller all the way back home down Queen St. East as I got looks from people who clearly thought I either beat my child for fun or that I couldn't hear him crying which led to a frustrated mama in tears - Day 3 A.D(After Daycare)dawned on a sick little r. Cold, cough and a little touch of fever - munchkin down - roger that.

We kept him home from daycare under the tender ministrations of grandma as T and I went to work to bring home the bacon. When I hurried home early from work, the poor kid was so exhausted from his cold that all I was greeted with was a little whimper as he slumped back onto a pile of pillows. Poor grandma was so glad to have reinforcements after a day of worrying over the little sicky. All yesterday evening was spent holding little r and trying to get him to drink water and eat something - anything. We are talking about a kid who scarfs down 5 momos after his dinner and a whole orange here. (He takes after his mother I guess - if he's not eating, it is cause for concern.) I kept wishing he would perk up and scuttle off opening cabinets, toppling books and destroying houseplants. This limp little body clinging to me was a far cry from my energetic bundle of joy.

Today he was feeling a little better and by 10:30 or so, he looked like he was feeling a little bit more upbeat so it was time to get back on the horse - off we went to daycare again, this time with our own germs to share. We'll see how it goes.

Growing pains...

After much wringing of hands and worrying and discussing and researching, T and I finally decided that we should choose daycare as the solution to our childcare needs.

Today was little r's first day at his daycare centre... sigh! my baby is all grown up. Here's his little cubby with his jacket and change of clothes and his basket for his diapering things.





We dropped him off this morning, his grandma and I and he was fine. As you can see, he looked like he was having a good time.



We brought him in with the understanding that he was going to be there only till 11:30 or so. As we left, r barely even noticed that we left. Then I call back about an hour and a half later and I am told that he finally did look up from playing and on finding that we were not around, cried and cried till he finally fell asleep exhausted. My heart just broke. My poor little r!

This morning, I left with my heart full of trepidation. There was a little girl with a very big cough and a little boy eating yellow, mucus-y snot along with his cereal at snack time. They would be sharing toys (and germs) with little r. Call me a helicopter mommy but I just wanted to swoop him away at that point. Then I find out how much he cried and how unhappy he was... what is a mother to do? Rationally I know that he needs to socialize, that he will fall ill just like he will scrape his knee and fall down at some point but that doesn't mean I don't want to be at home with him and take care of all his needs anyway. (Though that would probably make both him and me crazy at some point.) Of course, he had a good nap, woke up, ate a wonderful lunch and went home with grandma who has assured me that he is happy as ever and now playing.

I was vaguely mollified by friends who told me that they had been through similar situations and that it was normal - just vaguely. I am not looking forward to tomorrow morning, let me tell you... *grumble* growing pains suck.. *grumble* (did you think the title referred just to little r?)

I didn't say this blog would be all sunshine, did I?

the Big Kahuna

little r,
You turned the BIG oh-1 two weeks ago (I know, mama the slacker!). Happy birthday, my love! While you didn't get to enjoy much of the carrot cake or the cupcakes mama baked (all that sugar in addition to all that stimulation would have just been way too much), you do wear your birthday pajamas really well!



Here are some of your favourite things:

• Favourite fruit: Oranges - hands down. You get so excited that we cannot bring an unpeeled orange to you - you don't have the patience to wait for us to peel it and then feed you. Mama thinks it's because she had a crazy craving for orange juice when you were in her tummy


• Favourite new food (because we all know you like pretty much everything that crosses your adventurous palate): spaghetti - you are engrossed by their slipperiness and shape, blueberries and cottage cheese.
  
• Favourite Books: Mr. Brown can Moo, can you? (you can pick out this book amongst others when I ask for it - my baby, not just a pretty face. Oh no, no siree!), Night-night Little Pookie (you make kissing noises at the right pages - you clever little thing!), ABC by Dr. Suess (you sit through the entire thing, and it's LONG), the Belly Button book (belly buttons are for kissing according to you. You find my belly button hilarious - actually, I find my belly hilarious but that's another story.)

• Favourite activity: let's see.... you enjoy being thrown up in the air, playing peek-a-boo, and LOVE being read to.


• Most challenging task: staying still... for anything! Changing your diapers and giving you a massage after your bath now resemble a wrestling match. No, you are no longer the placid baby of 6 months ago.
  
• Newest development: You now pull yourself onto your feet and creep along the edges of furniture, walls, anything and everything. Books on the bookshelves are for tossing off the bookshelf. As a result, our books now sit on piles on top of the bookshelves rather than on them.
  
• Our favourite time together: first thing in the morning. Weekend mornings are fun!
• Other funny things you do: You cannot keep your blanket on. You kick off everything and sleep with one leg pretty much 90 degrees to the rest of your body. You like to put that on top of me, just to make sure I don't go any where. You bark when we sing "How much is that doggie in the window", you do ten-dhen tig-tig and thungri-thungri but only when you feel like it. Cheerios engross you. You squeal with joy when I get home... it's the best thing in my day.

All that to say, I love you my baby, you make my world. Happy birthday.

Good bye chaos, hello New Year!

So, it's done - and I am exhausted but happy. My living room now looks like a living room, the dining room actually exists, the small bedroom on the second floor is houses our chokhang and the third floor now is a family room where T can watch tv or tool around on the laptop, r can play with his toys and bounce in his Jumperoo and I can sew all in the same space at the same time - amazing, I tell you! The only question remaining is why the hell did we wait so long?





It's hard to believe but it's almost a year since r was born. I barely remember life without him and by this I mean the good (in his semi-awake state at 11 pm, r looked up at me with a sleep-drunken smile, said "ma-ma" dissolved into a fit of giggles and fell back to sleep), the bad (on a Monday night, r wakes up and wants to play from 11 pm till 1:30 am - oh, mama was SO not happy about this!) and the ugly. Let's stop for a second to acknowledge that pre-baby if anyone had told me that I would be this interested in poop, yes, my friends POOP - how the mighty have fallen - I would have laughed them out of town and called the loony bin to let them know that another candidate was own their way over. How often, what colour, shape, consistency, odour and which direction - all of this has been observed discussed and fretted over. For the record, when I ate spinach, r pooped green. When he "ate" edamame, guess what? Poop polka-dotted with edamame, and let me not even get into what MetroDad - see blog list- eloquently calls TAE (total ass explosion). There was a stage when r shot poop up his back all the time. Infact it would shoot so far up his back that hair at the nape of his neck would be poop-stained! Now it just sits there in his diaper, smelly as all hell and ready to drop onto the floor if not wrapped up and diaper genie'd right away. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, a year has passed and my boy is coming up on his first birthday! After a million discussions about should this be just the 4 of us (grandma is in town) or who should make the invitation list, what kind of food we should have, what kind of cake, etc. etc. We finally have a day and time, we're getting the food catered (hallelujah!) and the cake after much thought is going to be a 9" carrot cake with cream cheese icing accompanied by cupcakes made with love by yours truly. Which means I am going to put in a full day of baking - the house is going to smell so yummy! More to come!

Spring is in the air

Without fail, every time I have the urge to do two things - organize and craft - I know that Spring must be around the corner!

After a fair bit of thought and consideration, T and I decided that we need to adjust the layout of our furniture and reorganize the rooms in our house to maximize the use out of every room. So yesterday, while I was at work, T and his uncle did the back-breaking work of moving a couch, huge television plus stand and a queen size mattress set to the 3rd Floor, moved a set of bookshelves (which had to be taken apart!) to the ground floor and our chokhang (altar) to the second floor. Even typing this makes my back hurt. As a result, the house is in total and utter chaos. I am talking did-a-bomb-go-off-in-here, tornado-central style mess. The upside is that it gives us a firm push to purge (VHS tapes of old hindi movies anyone?) and organize with many rewards at the end. It may also give us the incentive to tackle that dungeon also known as our basement, which once upon a time, was an organized storage space.

The dream is a third floor we actually use together - a family room that houses the tv, my crafts corner that doubles as a bit of a home office, a play space for r that - a living and dining room where we eat as a family, away from the lure of the tv, a roomier kitchen and a proper mudroom/pantry. Let's see how it shakes out.

In the meanwhile, crafty thoughts are everywhere. Knitting and sewing projects abound! I am especially inspired by the crafty denizens of the blogosphere. I have discovered all kinds of free goodies (tutorials, wallpaper calendars, recipes) and I can't get enough! And now, I have discovered the Cynthia Rowley patterns from Simplicity. love, Love, LOVE!







I intend to order and try them. Even though it is so expensive to sew your own clothes (how crazy is that for a thought?), I love the idea and the process of it. Choosing the design, picking the fabric and the trim and then waiting for the final garment. This time in Nepal, I was able to do that for my chubas and honjus but to be able to do that for myself is the ultimate goal. Also, when I got home of Friday this was waiting for me.



A pattern that I ordered from Etsy for a wrap dress. This will be my next project after I am done with r's pj sets and I have just the mill-end bargain fabric in my stash for it! Speaking of the pj set, which consists of a pair of pajamas and a little kimono top, I should acknowledge that I got them both from tutorials off the web, so many thanks to habitual.wordpress.com and rookiemoms.com. So, the sooner I get organized, the sooner I can craft. On that note, I better get going.

What a difference a year makes!

So over the last weekend, I turned 33. Since it fell on a Saturday, r and I were able to enjoy the deliciousness of having a lie-in and just playing in bed.. peek-a-boo and sucking in air between his four relative new teeth and then blowing air being the games of choice. After a leisurely morning at home, T,r and I decided to go for a walk as it was so lovely outside, crisp and sunny.



At our local library, my book had arrived! The Little Black Dress: How to Make the Perfect One for You. Now, by no means do I have any delusions of grandeur with regards to my sewing skills but this book makes me believe that if I take the time and do the exercises, I too will be able to make a fabulous new LBD! Isn't that every true fashionista's dream after all? Another wonderful book to add to my wishlist of crafty books.



On the way back, we stopped off at Starbucks where T & I had some coffee and shared a red velvet cupcake in lieu of birthday cake - r had a small piece and was facinated... a new discovery for his palate. Yum!



After hitting Designer Fabrics for some bias tape for r's pj sets, dinner was an adults only affair. r was happy being looked after by my mother-in-law. The moon was huge as we walked towards Korea House. We enjoyed delicious Soondobu, Bulgogi and Soon Dae but suffered really poor service. First, they took over 20 mins to get our order. Then no refills on the tea and the water we asked for never surfaced. Then they brought our food but ran out of rice so we had to wait...again! Then they brought rice and 1 glass of water. They were having a really off day. The patrons at the next table over were really letting them have it! T and I did our best to be accomodating and high-tailed out of there.

The thing that struck me most about this birthday is how different it felt. For the first time, I felt like a true "grown-up". I realize now that in my mind, the word "grown-up" always equated parent, probably because they had the final say in decisions. What of course I didn't realize was that it also equated sacrifice. Even in making dinner plans, we went back and forth between take-out and actually having an evening out and all through dinner, we were talking about r. Not that this was a huge sacrifice but lets face it - life as we know it has changed. As we follow our bliss, we acknowledge how grateful we are for the blessings in our life, for those that love us and do our best to work out the tangles and navigate pot holes.

Happy February!